—Henri-Frédéric Amiel (via vertigoverb)
31 work days left. crazy.
this weekend feels alot like that weekend. i’m regrettably reminded of what it felt to be kept waiting. of finally reaching the point where i’m wanting, excited, eager to see you. but a little too late. i’ll admit, i see now that i do it to myself. i won’t let you in until i feel safe which on the outside may feel like you’re up against a brick wall. yet its not. i just need a little time to feel on my own. i’m soft on the inside, once the shell is cracked. tough is only my exterior. a mechanism i’ve learned to protect myself over the years. it seems to always happen that when i’m ready, you’ve slowed down. you’re now okay with cruising in the residential when i might just be ready to merge slowly onto the highway.
i was reminded yesterday that i didn’t want anything serious. truth. it did take me awhile to see what i now see in you, though. and besides, doesn’t everyone say they don’t want anything serious? i don’t really hear of folk mentioning (out loud anyhow) that they are specifically looking to get into a relationship. but either way you look at it, i pushed back and now i’m in a situation similar to the last. now that i’ve begun to like this kid, the reality of what i said early on is daunting me. i need to break this pattern.
my gut tells me he’s worth it. but i’m frustrated. with myself and the situation. i guess it’s my turn to be patient.
about that fit life #hike #missionpeak #fremont #hills #hot #group #funtimes #sweatin #cardiom#oninstagramstraightflexin @alana_justina
i’m always weirdly proud when my pee is clear because it’s like fuck yeah i’m so hydrated
okay, this is the cutest shit ever. dammit i cant stand it
THIS day hahaha #beach #venicebeach #trippin #sunshine #friends #chill #relax #happy #free #la #ca #socal @lani510 @soylulis ☀☀☀🌱